Some of us learn to say “no,” at an early age. We learn to say it gently, firmly, angrily, assertively and when it’s right to use each tone of voice. Others of us, most of us as a matter of fact, grow up co-dependent, afraid to say “no,” even when it’s obviously, overwhelmingly in our best interest to do so.

After years of believing I had learned to say “No,” I learned this week that I didn’t really. And with each reluctant, “Okay, or “Yes,” I uttered - I became more and more depressed. I said “Yes,” believing I was saying it to help, when I was really saying it to please. Then a client referred me to Byron Katie, and the light bulb went on!! I listened to a wonderful podcast - an interview with her by the “Get it Done Guy,” Stever Robbins.

One of the points she makes that I like SO well is that when you say “No,” out of integrity, you say “Yes,” to yourself and “Yes,” to better possibilities for the person you’re dealing with. Go to her blog to hear the podcast - a valuable 27 minutes of your time and well worth the listen.

Of all the speakers and articles I’ve heard or read, she really hit the mark for me with the simplicity and graciousness with how she says no. I would feel her love and concern for me even through the disappointment of a no from her!

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