“Wow. It’s just like leather,” my friend said.
“Um. No. It LOOKS like leather, but it’s not,” I said. “I need leather.”
Thus ensued a debate over the strength and properties of real leather versus a man-made fabric that “looked like” leather. I was willing to pay the extra few dollars for a backpack with a “real leather” bottom because I needed the scuff factor and the durability, plus the waterproof possibilities once I treated it. And I like the look of real leather. It ages well and every cut and nick and stain tells a story.

I thought about that all night. Dreamed about it really. And woke up wondering why we are all so impressed with things that “look like” the real deal, but aren’t. A friend of mine built a “kit car” in college. That’s a car that looks like the real car, but isn’t. I have bookshelves that are made of particleboard, but “look like” real wood because of a real wood veneer.

Carry the examples far enough and you have Politicians who “look like” real average joes - if average joes had $20 million in the bank. Watch the national news during a tornado or flood and the newscasters all “look like” they’re out there in the elements suffering just like the folks they’re covering - they get to crawl back into luxury RVs or go back to a hotel room - not huddle in their darkened, flooded home….but to look at them you’d think they “looked like” they were suffering too.

What is the fascination with “looks like” for us? When did we insist on the real deal, authentic - in our food and relationships, but settle for “looks like” in everything else?

For most of us the issue is purely financial. If I hadn’t needed the leather bottom for real hiking and backpacking and was only going to use the bag as a purse or overnight bag, I might have settled for the “looks like” leather to save $20 bucks. I don’t need solid wood bookshelves because I rent my apartment and plan to sell them when I move. I don’t want to invest in solid wood until I have my own place. Then I want the real deal.

I also want the real deal when it comes to relationships. I want friends who are honest with me, who are real with me, who trust me enough to know that they can be themselves. If they’re tired, they say they’re tired. If they’re busy, they say they’re busy. If they simply don’t feel like talking or going out to dinner they say so - no excuses needed. I’m happy to say I’m lucky there. Are you? And are you BEING the real deal when it comes to relationships? Are you comfortable being honest? If not - why not?

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