Staying Hungry

Katie Yeakle, the Executive Director of AWAI, a copy writing organization, emailed members to tell us that:

“Bob Bly is celebrating the official launch of his new book, The Words You Should Know to Sound Smart: 1,200 Essential Words Every Sophisticated Person Should Be Able to Use…

The book is an entertaining guide to words that are fun to drop into your conversations … whether you’re at a cocktail party or not! I highly recommend you check it out.

You’ll get the spelling, pronunciation, a definition and – most importantly – usage of the word in a sentence, so you can get a real feel for the power of each word. Words like:

* disestablishmentarianism
* descant
* autodidactic
* genteel
* soliloquy
* and many, many more.”

I had to think for a moment. I can’t ever remember hearing those words in a conversation. Well maybe I’m not traveling in the right circles you say. Well, in the past 22 years I’ve interviewed U.S. Presidents, Congressmen, Rock Stars, Country Music Stars, Engineers, Doctors, Scientists and all manner of educated and uneducated people alike - and the only words I’ve heard were “genteel and solioquy.” I know. Because when I hear a word I don’t know, I stop the person and ask them what it means so I’ll anchor it in my mind with a sentence and context. I don’t mind appearing ignorant or uneducated. It enables the speaker to share their knowledge and teach me - raising their status, making them sound smart.

So when I got this email today I was a little taken aback. Are there 1,198 words out there I don’t know, or use? As a writer are these words I might use in a story? Or will they serve me better while playing a game of “Balderdash?” ( My favorite game in the entire world by the way).

Does it really matter if I “sound smart?” Will people think less of me if I just sound authentic? Or honest? or optimistic? Should I worry about sounding smart? I don’t think so. I certainly don’t care if I sound smart - in the sense that I know a lot of $20 words. I do worry that people might not think I sound caring. Or that I might not sound smart as in knowing what to do, or to say when a friend’s husband dies unexpectedly or their child is born with a birth defect, or they are diagnosed with cancer. That kind of smart - I want to know how to be. I want to sound smart in that I know how to talk to a mechanic without getting ripped off, or know how to politely decline an invitation or a poorly cooked casserole without hurting the invitee’s feelings. That’s the kind of smarts I want to sound like I have.

I want to sound smart enough to know that people come first, God is real, faith and hope are sometimes all people have and that you never squirt charcoal lighter fluid on a burning fire because one day it will flash back and burn you. I want to sound smart about knowing how to jump start a car without destroying the car battery, or how to change a tire. I want to sound smart about how to hold a widow sobbing with grief, a teenager devastated over the breakup with their first love, and how to hug the family members at a funeral so they really get it about how much I care and how sorry I am. That’s the kind of smart I want to be.

No slam on Bob or Katie. It just struck me as odd about how so many things appeal to our vanity of self and the needs we have to sound smart rather than be smart. Here’s hoping YOU feel smart today - in whatever way makes you happy.

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Some of us learn to say “no,” at an early age. We learn to say it gently, firmly, angrily, assertively and when it’s right to use each tone of voice. Others of us, most of us as a matter of fact, grow up co-dependent, afraid to say “no,” even when it’s obviously, overwhelmingly in our best interest to do so.

After years of believing I had learned to say “No,” I learned this week that I didn’t really. And with each reluctant, “Okay, or “Yes,” I uttered - I became more and more depressed. I said “Yes,” believing I was saying it to help, when I was really saying it to please. Then a client referred me to Byron Katie, and the light bulb went on!! I listened to a wonderful podcast - an interview with her by the “Get it Done Guy,” Stever Robbins.

One of the points she makes that I like SO well is that when you say “No,” out of integrity, you say “Yes,” to yourself and “Yes,” to better possibilities for the person you’re dealing with. Go to her blog to hear the podcast - a valuable 27 minutes of your time and well worth the listen.

Of all the speakers and articles I’ve heard or read, she really hit the mark for me with the simplicity and graciousness with how she says no. I would feel her love and concern for me even through the disappointment of a no from her!

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Transformation

There are four, no five seedlings that have actually sprung up from the watermelon seeds I planted last week. Pale green, they languished in a tiny yellow pot in my bathroom - the only light from the tiny window above the tub, until I actually noticed they were growing! So I moved them to the living room, where there is usually more light. But the day I moved them, it rained. And it rained the next day and the next. But they kept growing anyway - with only a little more light than they had in the dark bathroom.

Which makes me think - maybe we don’t need the best conditions either. Maybe we do just as well when we use what we have and wait for better days.

Patty Newbold, one of my wisest of wise friends, and I talked about this concept today - that people and things learn to cope in spite of less than ideal circumstances and actually do better when they learn and train that way.

She pointed out that there are some studies and evidence that maybe depressed people and psychologists are doing it all wrong. They’re waiting until someone is no longer depressed to teach them how to deal with life. Maybe, she said, they need to be taught how to deal with life in the same way the Army teaches soldiers to be sharpshooters.

The Army gets their soldiers exhausted and loopy from lack of sleep, too much hard work, exhaustion and lack of food. They’re at their lowest point physically and mentally. They’re barely able to function.  They can’t think straight and they can’t shoot. That -  she said - is when they teach them how to shoot. Because THAT is how they’ll feel and what the conditions will be like when they are in a war and actually need to be shooting. Anyone can shoot when conditions are perfect. It’s when they’re not perfect that we need to learn how to operate.

So maybe, she said. Maybe the best time to learn how to write when you’re depressed, or deal with life when you’re depressed, is to write and deal when you’re actually depressed. Maybe now, when things are the darkest, and the most depressing and nothing is going right - it’s actually the best time to be writing and making hard decisions. So I thought about that - and it’s 2 a.m. and I’m still thinking about that.

My seedlings, I’m sure, didn’t think about whether or not they wouldn’t grow much in low light. They just grew. They had enough light to grow as much as they could grow. They didn’t refuse to grow because it was raining outside and there wasn’t much light and maybe they’d wait for a sunnier day. They just did what they did with what they had. When the sun comes out tomorrow, maybe they’ll grow more, their paleness will turn darker green as the sun does its thing and so on. The important thing is, they’re becoming watermelons one day, one quarter-inch at a time. Some days will be sunnier and better and they’ll grow more - but they won’t stop just because it stops being sunny. So like a sharpshooter - and a watermelon seedling - I can do the same - train in the rain.

How about you? Are you “training in the rain?”

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I spent the better part of the day yesterday clearing off my computer hard drive. I uploaded photos, thousands of them, to a photo site I use. I deleted duplicate documents, trashed stuff I wouldn’t use any more - shredded all those funny, but old movie clips, jokes and spam mails and then wiped it all out with the empty secure trash command. Gone.

I freed up about 30 gigs of space. My computer runs faster. It’s not crashing every hour - only a couple of times a day now. It’s spring cleaning. I also spent an hour in prayer/meditation - releasing a lot of other garbage - grudges, bad feelings, resentments, losses, petty arguments. And tonight - I too feel better. Over the weekend I tackled the kitchen and all those duplicate but worthless lidless storage things. I ruthlessly attacked the closet - boxing up clothes for a soon-to-be yard sale. I shredded boxes of old notes and papers. In my living room right now - waiting for trash day so I don’t have to hike it all around to the back of the house to the trash - are NINE bags of shredded paper trash and two or three more of other crap.

I feel the chi (energy) moving already. I still have several rooms to tackle and dozens of more boxes and another closet or two to sweep through. But it’s a start.

If you’re into spring cleaning - don’t stop at the house. Think computer, think emotions, think head and heart and soul as well. This is a holy week. What better time to forgive and move on.

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A friend of mine is mad at a family member of hers. She has been for 10 years. He embarrassed her at a family function and she’s never forgiven  him, and doesn’t plan to until he apologizes. I told her today that some people won’t ever apologize, some people aren’t capable of apologizing, and some people’s apologies aren’t even apologies and worthless and meaningless anyway.

After being blindsided by someone on a social media site I belong to I wanted an apology. I’m not going to get it, but yesterday I realized it didn’t matter - for all the reasons above. It must be God’s way of confirming what I figured out yesterday to get to explain it to someone else today.

The ONLY reason for an apology is to “clear the decks” so the relationship can get back on track. That’s it. Period. Forgiveness of someone is so WE can get past an incident, drop the baggage and move on with our lives. Forgiveness doesn’t need anybody but us. An apology involves TWO people. Why? Because apologies are for when you WANT to preserve or work on the relationship. If you don’t care - or the relationship is toast anyway - an apology doesn’t matter. One or both people are saying, “I’m not happy, it hurt, but I’m willing to work on what we have and get past it.”

If they’re not willing to apologize - they’re not interested in you or the relationship. So bail out, forgive them (that’s another post) and get on with your life.

I realized after repeated public postings and making myself vulnerable, expressing my hurt etc. that there was never going to be an apology from this person. NOT only is she incapable of an apology, she has no desire to pursue the friendship and an apology at this point would be superficial and meaningless. Why? Because now, after all that - I no longer have any desire for the connection.

I explained this to my friend and she’s thinking about it. She’s not ready to write him off. She still wants the apology. But this time she’s trying a different tack - she’s being honest about how it made her feel, how it hurt her, how he’s someone she wants to be friends with. Knowing them both - I’m pretty sure he’ll apologize - even if he doesn’t even remember what he did or said. He’ll do it because he values the relationship more than being right, or being funny at her expense.

So next time YOU’RE wanting an apology or reluctant to apologize because you don’t want to be wrong or feel shame - remember the question isn’t about if you’re right or wrong in that moment. It’s about if the RELATIONSHIP is important.

To those whom it wasn’t important to for me - have a nice life. I have a feeling it will be a rough one - filled with pain, but I wish you well…and…

I forgive you.

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I love a good thunderstorm. I was never afraid of them until I was camping on a ridge almost at timberline in the Great Smoky Mountains. A “War of the Worlds” category five thunderstorm blew up and all that stood between me and it was a nylon tent. I headed for a stand of boulders to be closer to anything taller than I was. Within five minutes of my arrival and my huddling on a flat rock with my poncho draped over me, lightning hit. The “Boom!” was tremendous, and the impact only about 30 or 40 yards from where I squatted. I knew it was coming. I smelled it and all the hair - even the wet strands - stood on end right before it hit. It was an indescribable feeling - a cross between knowing you’re going to die and not being too worried because you know it won’t hurt - it’ll be over that fast.

The strike split a tall tree down the path from where I had just come a couple hours earlier and where I had considered pitching my tent because it “was safer.” But I wanted to see the stars so I had climbed higher. I was glad I had. Scared to death, but alive. And after the storm passed and the sky cleared I rolled myself up in my soggy sleeping bag and a tarp, and shivered, watching the stars come out and even more thrilled to be seeing them after the storm.

Being a heretic is a lot like that. You see what is safe, what is “best,” but the stars beckon and you answer. Some nights the storm breaks and the lightning flashes and someone or something gets hurt. I’ve been lucky that most of my life the strikes haven’t been as powerful as the one that split the tree. Because I do stand out with word and deed, I attract lightning.

Being around me - or any heretic - means sometimes getting hit with those strikes, or sometimes seeing a near miss. So, unless you share the heretic’s fascination with danger and possibility, chances are you aren’t going to hang out in the heretic tribe.

Everyone wants to BE a heretic because they’re considered “edgy, sexy, cutting edge, brilliant” and so on - AFTER the fact, after they’ve become millionaires, or after they’ve made a medical break-through. But not all heretics become famous. Many of them just become a pain in the ass. That doesn’t mean they aren’t changing their worlds - they are.

Ask anyone who works with a heretic and they’ll tell you they hate us a lot of the time. Or, if they don’t hate us, they hate how we are - unpredictable, offensive, opinionated, uncontrollable, untame-able, and blunt. Heretics can be generous, fun-loving, curious, unfocused and playful too - because they don’t obey all the rules and they enjoy having fun. They are - by their very nature - creatures who create their own path and often a path others chose to follow as well. Sometimes the path building is easy, or inspiring. Sometimes the number of followers is so great a heretic need merely point to the horizon and the tribe will trample the path almost effortlessly in their rush to get there.

But there are more times when people say, “Can’t you stop? Can’t you change? Can’t you keep your mouth shut? Can”t you get along to go along? Can’t you ignore it? Can’t you say something positive? Can’t you, can’t you, can’t you????”

No. We can’t. You can’t ask a bull to give up it’s reaction to a red cape or a sword in its side. The very thing that makes a bull a symbol of machismo and aggression and courage, also makes it dangerous.

Heretics are the spark, not the engine. They create paths, they don’t maintain them. They challenge, annoy, test, push and disagree because that is their nature. To have a “socially acceptable” and well-behaved, predictable heretic is to not have a heretic but a eunuch. Heretics are hated because they are loose cannons. They see and experience and crave a different world. They think differently, react, respond and reply to stimuli differently. THEY SEE DIFFERENTLY. But it’s NOT a choice. It’s innate.

And if you don’t get that - you’ll both love and hate them, benefit from them and be hurt by them. It’s not calculated. It just is.The most amazing thing happened last week when I had this conversation with a friend. Once, she said, she began to be honest with herself and to strip away the lies she told herself about how important it was to be polite and to be liked - even at the cost of sacrificing her standards, she began to understand me more.

She began to think like a heretic (not respecting the status quo), and her co-workers began to see her as a heretic. She lost friends for giving her honest, and unpopular opinion about what changes need to take place in her job because seeing something that needed to change for the better became more important than being liked. As she feels more empowered she is more dissatisfied with her position. It’s what honesty will do for you. If you will work through the storm, and the strikes, the discomfort, the pain, the uncertainty - you emerge a better person for having seen the stars - as dangerous as it might have felt.

So yes. Heretics are hated for a reason - we upset the status quo. We say things, think things, and point out the uncomfortable truth. We don’t always do it in a comfortable or timely way. But we do it. And as much as you may hate us - for that - you should be grateful. We DO change the world.

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I’ve shared close quarters and even closer business partnerships with some pretty stranger folks in my life. But, I have to admit this hen and puppy picture beats any mutually beneficial arrangement I ever had. As I’m working on my book proposal one of the qualities I’m expounding on is tolerance. It’s not on the usual list of entrepreneurial or success traits that I’ve seen, but it’s a critical element for both.

Why? Well, because by “bedfellows,” we mean people that we are - by need or design, close to, intimate with even. We share SOMETHING in common - or we wouldn’t be rubbing elbows. That “something” may be all we share, but it’s important that we recognize that that something is pretty critical or we’d be looking elsewhere for it.

I hope that makes sense. For instance… as a security guard in an old paper warehouse in Denver in the 80’s, I worked the graveyard shift. It meant wandering around in the bowels of the paper plant alone, at night, with the rats. I don’t mean mice. I mean rats. I had to stoop to traverse leaky old pipes, slog through puddles and walk through piles of shredded paper and cardboard. Me and the rats. Ugh. I could hear them squealing and running and falling or leaping off of bales of paper as I trekked along on my hourly rounds. The only thing worse than the rats were the spiders. I soon learned to bang on the metal door with my flashlight before I entered each room. It gave them fair warning and I didn’t worry about them falling onto my neck or head from the overhead pipes.

After several weeks of this, one night I didn’t hear them. No snuffling, squeaking or rustling of paper. No thump, thump, thump as they hit the floor in a panic to escape. Just silence. It meant that someone else had already been through ahead of me - and had already scared them off. It took me a bit to figure that out - like about three minutes later when I rounded the corner and found a work crew no one had told me about. It scared me to walk up on them unexpectedly - and frightened them as well, but ever after that I learned to appreciate the rats. They were my signal that I was alone on the hundreds of acres of empty factory. They were my “strange bedfellows.” We shared space in a way that benefited us both I suppose.

As the world changes, economies shift and resources tighten or disappear, being able to recognize, utilize and capitalize on “strange bedfellows,” is almost a necessity. We no longer have the luxury of picking and choosing the company, the person or the opportunity we might fire on all cylinders with. Finding a common need is a way to do several things:

Extend our capabilities
Extend our network
Open ourselves to new ideas, approaches and markets
Learn tolerance
See need, purpose and design differently than we might otherwise have
Appreciate the smallest, most seemingly insignificant or important things in our world.

There are more benefits I’m sure. But those stand out for me right now. I hope you can think of opportunities in your life where “a strange bedfellow,” is or has been a blessing in disguise. Even if that disguise is a rat, you never know how valuable their contribution may be.

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On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog” is an adage which began as the caption of a Peter Steiner cartoon published by ”The New Yorker” on July 4, 1993. Since then the cartoon has taken on a life of its own - like the “smiley face” in a way.  The cartoon shows two dogs: One sitting on a chair in front of a computer, speaking the caption to a second dog sitting on the floor. As of 2000 it was the most published cartoon ever from The New Yorker. No, I don’t have the headline to my post wrong.

"On the internet no one knows you're a dog."

What’s funny about Peter’s cartoon - on several levels, is how people can BE anyone they want to be, and many a tech savvy teenager has passed for an adult in venues where they’d never gain entrance in person. Yet the reverse is true as well - if your tech skills, your writing, your keyboard and dissociative social skills aren’t up to par people may indeed MISTAKE YOU FOR A DOG!

So while men can pretend to be women, and women can pretend to be girls and everyone can pretend to be pretty much anyone  and no one much notices - I noticed something. People don’t notice that some of those folks they’re meeting are disabled and may be mistaken for “dogs.” (in the slang term meaning “not pretty or desirable,”)

I don’t mean disabled as in a wheelchair, although they may be. I mean many of the folks I interact with have mental disabilities, depression, cancer, age issues diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome and a variety of illnesses that should become invisible on the internet - but don’t. Because while hiding your looks, or your status, or your accent or gender online is fairly simple, hiding your disability, your lack of skills, your age or other challenges is often not so easy.

From the speed of typing, to the age or other challenges, disabilities are often hard to hide. I teach basic computer skills at a local college (volunteer) a couple of times a month. Those attending are in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. They are determined to learn to get online. Most are men. Unlike their sons or grandsons who can type 100 words per minute with their thumbs, they never learned to type. So they hunt and peck. As a result, their blog posts and their infrequent emails tend to be rather short. More time is spent hunting for the keys than thinking about what and how they want to say what they have to say.

As a result their communications are terse, and not the sort of compelling prose they speak in person. On the internet, no one knows what kind, gentle, generous souls they are. On the internet, no one hears their laughter, or their jokes or sees their smiles. I have learned to encourage them to be upfront with their shortcomings - to make a joke - so they let those reading their posts understand their limitations.

“In real life I’m a real chatter-box. But I don’t type as fast as I talk,” I urge them to tell folks when they first come online. Maybe I’m helping, maybe I’m doing them a disservice. I just know when I talk to someone and they sound a little odd, hearing, “I’m sorry, I had chemo today,” or “I’m sorry, I have some medical issues and today is not a good day,” make all the difference in the world to me. I should be patient because I have my days too - with my chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia flare-ups there are times I can’t remember what I wanted to say, or I sound out of it myself!

“I’m okay!!” I want to shout

“I just didn’t get the 30-hours sleep I needed last night!”

This has been one of those weeks for me. I worry that I haven’t posted every day, or that I’ve slept more than I’ve been awake. Then this afternoon a friend recovering from another round of chemo wrote to apologize for not answering an email I sent a few days ago.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Lying in bed listening to the rain on the roof all week has just been so much more relaxing than answering email.”

I know exactly what she meant.

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With the economy the way it is, people keep telling me no one is building homes or buying homes. But I learned there’s a great opportunity for small contractors right now.

Are you a small contractor? Maybe you want to start a contracting business, but only have one or two friends who are willing to work for or with you. Well, there’s a HUGE opportunity for you if you’re willing to do SIPS erections. What is SIPS? It’s a building system (Structured Insulated Panels) that’s been around since the 1930’s. It’s totally green. Cost the same or less than stick built, is NOT mobile home housing and NOT modular. Energy bills are HALF the bills in a stick built home and the AC and heating system is half the size of a normal until too.

What’s the opportunity for SMALL contractors? Well, these homes go up in ONE day to ONE WEEK and the average, employee-heavy contractor wants to keep their employees working on a home for a MONTH. The average contractor is concerned with payroll, not the cost to the homebuilder. So, just like they’ve been doing since the 1930’s - big contractors have been squashing, ignoring or overcharging homeowners in order to keep them from using SIPS.

But if you’re a homeowner and you’re NOT using SIPS, you’re losing money.

Ever since the ’30’s the lumber industry has been fighting SIPS (because SIPS uses structural wafer board which is less expensive and more structurally sound than board lumber). Contractors fight it because labor costs are 1/4 the usual cost because the crews only work a day or a week not a month. Utility companies don’t like them because they consume less power, less heat and less gas. The only person who really benefits from a SIPS home is the HOMEOWNER!! Gee…..and you wonder why it’s been around since the 1930’s and we haven’t heard of it. Now you know.

So, take note guys and gals looking for an opportunity. All you need a a crane and crane operator - which are rented anyway - they don’t work for you except on a contract basis.  And - a 3-4 man crew can erect anything from a 500 to 1,000 square foot house in a day or week, and a larger home 2,000 square feet in a week to a month.

Most experienced contractors and crews learn how to do the erection on their first job. Think about it. You can corner the market on this because the established contractors won’t touch it because it’s too efficient. Get into this market while the getting is good - because it is  WIDE OPEN. Architects - it takes less time to draw up the plans, the structure is more sound, able to withstand level 3 and 4 hurricanes, earthquakes etc. and more flexible in terms of design (you can erect the home and THEN decide where to cut windows and doors even!! You aren’t limited by 8 foot spans - SIPS panels come in 12-foot spans. EVERY wall is load bearing by design - so the possibilities are endless! They’re practically fireproof, more structurally sound…. and yet… no one is looking at them because the lumber, contracting and  energy opportunists are more worried about a profit. Go figure.

Isn’t it amazing how blind we are to opportunities around us? Isn’t it amazing how we let other people tell a story and yet we fail to see the real story? If you’re a big contractor or real estate agent you want to make money - but you want to make it the way you’ve always made it.  You don’t see the potential.

If you can look at a situation - like construction and contracting, in a different light now - then imagine what will happen when the economy shifts and people start building in earnest in 5-10 years. You’ll have the experience and people to keep your crews erecting whole energy-efficient developments. Heck, you might even be able to convince someone to let you put up these things for natural disasters. There’s a shortage of SIPS trained contractors and a lot of potential and demand for them. Check it out. http://sips.org.

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I’m a story teller. I talk to people. I watch. I listen. I tell the stories I hear. Businesses hire me to find and craft the story they want to tell their customers. Friends ask me to listen to what they’re talking about to discern what their unspoken and even their spoken story is so they can decide whether to change it or not. Life, especially lately, is all about stories for me.

So what is a story?

A story is a string of opinions, beliefs, facts, myths, understandings and awarenesses we all have about a given situation. For years my primary story has been, “I had a hard life, but overcame so much, but now I’m stuck.”  Other people’s stories range from, “I’m a victim,” to “I can do no wrong.” Yes, there are details and characters and plot twists - who raised us, beat us, supported us, didn’t support us, criticized us, cheated us, disrespected us, married us, divorced us, loved us, hated us, helped us, ignored us, and gave us a hand up or a hand out or kicked us when we were down.

But the story line is always simple - “I’m well, I’m great, Life sucks, Life is great, I’m happy, I’m miserable, I’m rich, I’m poor,” and so on. Your friends and family certainly know your story. So does your boss, your church, your co-workers, your neighbors and the people you do business with. Why don’t you? Those around us know our story because we repeat it every day through our actions and our words. We have to. Like batting a balloon in the air to keep it up - we must speak or act out our story to keep it alive. So we do. We know our own story so well we don’t listen to the words anymore - and we’re often shocked when we force ourselves to listen.

We complain. We encourage. We’re broke. We’re poor. We’re ignored. We’re bitter. We’re rarely happy. Words and deeds - we are story in motion. To change ourselves however, we MUST first change our story, not ourselves. That’s where the motivational speakers get it all wrong. Changing our story - not our selves, comes first.  To change our story we must first know what it is. You can do this several ways - ask your friends, your spouse, your co-worker, your neighbors. They’ll know and if you’re lucky, they’ll kindly tell you what it is.

Or, listen to yourself. Keep a diary or journal. What do you say all day every day? My story was, “I’m barely making it. I’m so broke.” Of course it was true - so I didn’t see what the issue was. It’s truth, right? Yes - it is -because it’s my story!! But to change my story I had to change what I kept alive and what story I told. So I started by simply saying, “I have more business every day!” and  you know what? Now THAT story is true. I DO have more business every day! I’m not talking airy-fairy positive affirmations. I’m talking about focusing on what I had to be grateful about. One day I had no work, the next day I had an assignment. “Wow! I have more business every day!” was true. I looked for things to focus on that told me my new story was true. Someone called for advice. Usually the phone never rings. So I told the person, “Thank you. I’m getting more calls for advice this week than I have in months.” The phone hasn’t stopped ringing this week. I changed the story and the story changed. We’re all story tellers - and that’s all you too have to do really….

So listen to yourself. Don’t worry about changing yourself. Just change your story. The world will take care of the rest.

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